I can count the number of true friends I have on one hand, and probably have a spare thumb too. It’s not that I don’t like people or that people don’t like me* it’s just that I’m very choosy about who I trust, about who I spend time with, and about who I let into the ‘inner circle’.
Beyond those few who I class as true friends there are others who are on the periphery. I like them – to an extent. They like me – to a great or lesser extent. But they’ll never be included in the handful of true friends that I have. Okay, let’s not say ‘never’, instead we’ll say it’s rare for people to make the transition from acquaintance or ‘mate’ to friend-for-life.
I was accused – if that’s the right word – recently of being a shelf life person. The suggestion being that people I form attachments with have a shelf life before they’re no longer important to me. I don’t think that’s the case at all.
I am extremely cagey about new people. I keep people at arm’s length for a long time before accepting them into my life. During that probationary period I will drop people if I feel they’re not going to be a positive influence. It’s simple really. My time is extremely important to me, and because of the job I do it’s extremely limited too. I am not going to waste the time I have on people who I feel are not worthy. I’ll not waste their time or my own.
That’s not a case of someone having a shelf life; it’s about being true to me and true to them too. If I feel someone isn’t going to work out in my life I will remove them and move on. It’s the right thing to do.
*let’s face it, there are some people I don’t like and there are also some people who don’t like me, but we don’t worry about those people. They don’t matter.