13) Friendships

I can count the number of true friends I have on one hand, and probably have a spare thumb too. It’s not that I don’t like people or that people don’t like me* it’s just that I’m very choosy about who I trust, about who I spend time with, and about who I let into the ‘inner circle’.

Beyond those few who I class as true friends there are others who are on the periphery. I like them – to an extent. They like me – to a great or lesser extent. But they’ll never be included in the handful of true friends that I have. Okay, let’s not say ‘never’, instead we’ll say it’s rare for people to make the transition from acquaintance or ‘mate’ to friend-for-life.

I was accused – if that’s the right word – recently of being a shelf life person. The suggestion being that people I form attachments with have a shelf life before they’re no longer important to me. I don’t think that’s the case at all.

I am extremely cagey about new people. I keep people at arm’s length for a long time before accepting them into my life. During that probationary period I will drop people if I feel they’re not going to be a positive influence. It’s simple really. My time is extremely important to me, and because of the job I do it’s extremely limited too. I am not going to waste the time I have on people who I feel are not worthy. I’ll not waste their time or my own.

That’s not a case of someone having a shelf life; it’s about being true to me and true to them too. If I feel someone isn’t going to work out in my life I will remove them and move on. It’s the right thing to do.

________
*let’s face it, there are some people I don’t like and there are also some people who don’t like me, but we don’t worry about those people. They don’t matter.


6 thoughts on “13) Friendships

  1. Straight, honest and brutal as ever. I guess the only hope is, while you’re deciding whether someone is worthy or not, they aren’t spending that time allowing you to be worthy. To then be disappointed

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Been trying to think of a comment for this post all day…Same as what has already been said; Straight, honest and yes, brutal. Guess everybody knows where they stand with you now and that’s a good thing. Kinda makes me sad too, maybe because this post had made me question which category I fall in. No one can accuse you of being fake though Al, always better to be upfront. X

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t think it is brutal at all. I’ll accept honest. Perhaps sometimes I am too honest. This isn’t a case of if you are not counted amongst those I hold dearest I don’t care. It wasn’t intended to dismiss the value of friendships I form online/offline with many people. I give a toss. I care. I am interested. I think life is a series of connections made with other people – some last forever, others do not. And I guess that is the thing. There are four people – who are not family – who might as well be family. Who I would do anything for, and who would do anything for me. They know things about me that my family do not. There’s levels of trust which cannot be quantified.
    Perhaps my choice of words was wrong when I mention a periphery. I don’t want people who read this to think I am an uncaring insensitive jerk (I can be!) because that is not the whole picture AT ALL.
    You will have people you class as good friends, people who are awesome friends, and then those people who just get you without any explanation being required.
    You guys are important to me. And I am sorry if you took from my words some notion that you are not.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It was really dismissive I have to say, “you can count on one hand your true friends” so what does that make me? Or anyone else who cares about you?
    And it wasn’t an accusation.. the shelf life thing, that was a harsh word.
    I feel…. put in my place. Perhaps the intention I don’t know

    Like

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