Horrible, ugly, dirty things. Women had the right idea, hiding their reproductive organs inside their bodies rather than having them all hang out all over the place. There is nothing pleasant or attractive about a willy.
After a number of discussions and debates about the aesthetic qualities – or lack thereof – of willies, and a number of people expressing their admiration for sausage-esque appendages, I decided to embark upon an incredibly scientific study.
It was the debate to end all debates: Penises (penii?) in general, are they Ugly or Beautiful?
After a representative sample of the population larger than some election opinion polls, the results are in. And it seems that in general – by a significant margin – cocks are considered ugly.
So there you have it. Remember: It’s okay have one, it’s okay to be proud of it, but it’s not okay to get the ugly looking flaccid example of masculinity out unless the lights are out.