“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”
Sometimes words are easy to say but the message, the advice, behind them is difficult to take. I saw these words and they were immediately relevant, instantly important. I have a lot to move on from. I have a lot to move on for. There is a future out there waiting for me to step into but I am anchored in the very recent past.
Try as I might I have yet to be able to shrug off the awful things which people did to me and to others. But it’s necessary for me to be able to move on. Because, you see, hate is baggage, and carrying around hate for people – well hate is a strong word, but carrying around this negativity isn’t good for the soul.
So here goes, forgiveness.
I forgive you for the terrible way you treated her at the end. You meddled and you plotted and you schemed and you made her desperately unhappy. Then you climbed on the grief-train and wallowed. Despite your incredible selfishness, I know you feel guilt, and I know that in your own way you are sorry for what you did. I forgive you.
I forgive you too, for the way you treated her. All she wanted was to be free to live her life without your spiteful jealousy. She never, ever, would, but I forgive you.
I forgive you for the way you treated me and my brother. I asked you what you would do differently and you said you would do exactly the same. Despite your arrogance, I forgive you.
I forgive you for your efforts to deny a son his father. You realised your mistake. You realised the fight you faced. You never apologised. But I forgive you.
And I forgive you, oh brother of mine. On behalf of your child who cannot forgive you himself, and who doesn’t even recall who you are and what you look like, I forgive you.
It’s time for me to move on. I cannot dwell on the past. I cannot allow the petty behaviour of people to keep me down. I’m going to make an effort to allow transgressions against me and against the people I care about to be forgiven. Because, unless you can do something about them, you just gotta forgive them.
Who are you going to forgive?