The demise of my last relationship was crushing. Despite the smile I wore. Despite the indifferent words which spilled from my lips. Despite the apparent ease with which I handled the disappointment of losing her. The loss was a crushing weight and I thank my stars I had kind hands to help lift the unbearable load.
Yet no matter how tough it was. Or how unjust I felt my treatment was. Or how much I wanted to respond to the words and actions of another. I like to think I managed to come through those times with my head held high and with dignity.
After seeing a very public relationship be brutally torn asunder at the weekend in a most undignified way, I give thanks that I had the courage to weather those times without resorting to name calling, blaming and pettiness. There were things I wanted to say. There were wrongs I longed to be righted. I suffered frustrations and personal humiliations and financial loss. But despite all that I remained strong.
I wanted to. But I would always think, “what is the purpose and can anything come of it?” The answer was typically “no” so I held my tongue.
And I am thankful that I did, because no matter what others may think I can truthfully say I handled myself well. My last relationship began with deceit and lies but it ended honourably. For this simple thing I am thankful.
It’s often difficult to be the bigger person when it comes time to walk away. We resort to hurting to mask our pain. I had the resilience to handle it this time, and I’m a better person for it.