You’re my best friend and I love you, but I really do not know what is going on with you right now. You seem to be turning into a really miserable arsehole and, if I’m honest, I don’t like it. Not one bit.
I’ve never thought of you as intolerant, but the way you acted tonight when I told you that Dave was coming out tomorrow night made me think you’re a bit of a dickhead.
Last weekend I asked you what you were doing, and if you wanted to go out for a beer and you ignored me. Why? If you don’t want to go, just don’t. I asked Dave and he couldn’t make it but he suggested this weekend instead. Cool. Let’s do it.
When you messaged me in the week and asked if I wanted to go out I almost came back to say that I was already going out and, ‘another time, mate’. But instead I thought we could all, as fucking grown ups, go out together. But when I tell you tonight that Dave is coming too (or, being really fucking petty about the turn of events, you are coming with us), you act like a complete jerk.
Maybe this is just a mid-life crisis. Maybe you’re just getting old. But get the fuck over it and let me have my best friend back, please?