We made an agreement on Friday last to keep this news to ourselves for a little while. Our parents have yet to find out and we’re thinking that Christmas Day would be the ideal time to tell them. Jen says, ‘but my mum doesn’t know yet’ but she’s the first one to tell her friends about our news. I don’t blame her. Something like this is not something you want to keep to yourself. It is news you want to share with everyone you know. ‘Guess what? We’re having a baby’. Then the reactions and the smiles and the congratulations. I know that people will be pleased for us. Working in an environment like this people develop a natural interest in each other’s well being. News spreads quickly; good or bad. Gossip and rumour are staples of the daily office social diet.
Christmas Day will be interesting. It will be interesting to gauge the reactions of our parents. I’m sure that my parents will welcome the news. It will be a great Christmas present for my Mum and for Byron, also for the boys who will be uncles for the first time. Jen’s Father will be pleased with the news too, as will her Mother, but I know the issue of marriage will come up soon after the ‘we’re having a baby’ announcement.
I have always, always, for as long as I can remember, never understood the appeal of marriage. I don’t need a piece of paper or expensive party or foreign holiday to show to someone that I love them and I am committed to them. Having a baby with someone, actually agreeing and entering into a decision to be responsible for another person for the next 18 years is a bigger commitment than any legal contract. It is an agreement of such magnitude that it should only be entered into by two people who are 100% behind their decision. It is life changing. I know that emotionally, mentally, financially, my life will never be the same again. I am under no illusions to the contrary. I accept this change. I welcome it with open arms. It is going to make me into the person I have always wanted to be. Having a child with Jenny is a commitment beyond marriage. It is physical and emotional. Through the existence of another human being, Jenny and I will always be linked.
So, it’s going to be interesting. I have my beliefs, and I hope that reading this you can understand what they are. Other people believe differently. It is not going to be a battle, because inevitably we’ll do what we want to do regardless of what other people might think or want or expect, but I will take into consideration the feelings of others. When the question comes up of marriage the answer will be, ‘soon, but not yet’.