The weekend

Possibly the best on record, for everyone in the whole world. Yes, my weekend was that good.


Jenny stayed over on Thursday night and we started Friday by heading into town to run a few errands. I had an optician’s appointment and I’m currently wearing these continuous wear contact lenses. So far so good. My eyes feel tired today, but I think it is because I am tired. Had them in since Friday with no side effects so I could finally be free from glasses. Hoorah!! From there we went to the travel agents and I paid off my share of the holiday. £600 – gone. Ouch. But it’s paid. Cuba is sorted and happens in September. Can’t wait for that. Then zoomed over to Sainsbury’s to get stocked up with food and drink. Seems I still haven’t learned the ‘women and shopping don’t mix’ rule, and the result was a bill in excess of £100. Shit, that hurt my wallet, but I’m flush right now, so what the hell, who cares? Finally went over to Jenny’s house to help out her Dad with a data cable issue he’s having (failed to solve it, but knowing what the problem is is the first step to a resolution) before back to Sainsbury’s to pick up my suit from the dry cleaners they have in store. Then home, a bit of world conquest with Rome: Total War, then bed. Sleep. Wonderful.


Jenny came over about 2pm and we went to a friend of hers wedding. I’ve uploaded the photos we took to the gallery (link). It was a pretty nice service considering I normally shy away from such things as weddings and what not. We went from the museum (I know!!) where the service was to the hotel where the reception was and proceeded to get pissed up. Things really got interesting when we left the reception and got a cab back into town and up to the night club to hook up with Terry and Heidi. It was the old man’s birthday on Saturday and I know he was disappointed when I told him I would be at a wedding so it was a pleasant surprise for him when we turned up close to midnight.

Okay, so I’ll try to explain the sequence of events. When we got there Heidi dragged Jenny off to the toilets (as girls do) and was very pleased with herself because of the effort she had been making that night with Lisa. Lisa is Terry’s ex, and the mother of his child. Jenny, of course, having not met Lisa, didn’t know who she was. Later that night Jenny had since a girl go up to Terry, attract his attention and say something. She asked who it was and I explained it was Lisa. Ahh, penny drops. A few minutes later, Jenny and Heidi are at the bar, and Jenny says “I know who Lisa is now, she tapped Terry and the backside and said something and Alan pointed her out to me.”

Heidi starts to cry.

What the fuck? She starts crying because, as she sees it, Lisa has been feeling him up (not the way it happened). She runs off, I follow her, which is where everything goes a bit fucked up. Terry eventually tries to come and find us and fails. Jenny has gone and sat down to give her feet a rest and sends me a message to ask me to come back because she is on her own. Terry has decided to wander back to where we were and been accosted by another ex, Louise on the way. Heidi and I are making our way back to Terry. Terry shrugs off Louise and tells her to fuck off, that he hasn’t got time for her and doesn’t want to speak to her. Louise follows Terry and is stood talking to him when Heidi and I get back into view of them. Heidi rushes over to Terry and pushes him out the way (she’s gone a bit mental by this point) she then turns and plants a sweet right hook and Louise knocking her down on her arse in the middle of the night club. Holy shit!!

Jenny is nowhere to be seen and Heidi is in the process of being kicked out. Terry has gone after her and I’m just stood there is shock wondering what the fuck just happened. Louise came over to me and started bitching about what had happened but, to be honest, I wasn’t in the mood. I haven’t seen her in about a year and I wasn’t interested in listening to what she had to say. I told her, perhaps a little too impolitely, to piss off and leave me alone as I was trying to find my girlfriend. She kept going on about the crap that had just happened though so I said; “Louise, I need to find Jenny. I’ll come and see you later, but I need to find Jenny before I do anything else. Sorry.”

I get the talk to the hand treatment, so fuck that.

Eventually, Jenny comes back and hooks up with me again and I am trying to explain where Heidi and Terry have got to. I see Louise again and figure I’ll go over and say hi and apologise for not being able to speak to her previously. I’m under the assumption that she’ll understand that certain things take precedence over trying to work out what the hell happened between her, Heidi and Terry, but she isn’t interested. “You had your chance.”

“Fine, fuck off then. See ya.”

It’s all gone a bit Pete Tong, so we leave the club and head home. I get home and Terry has called. Heidi wants to speak to me. Jenny is going off it because of Heidi’s reaction to something quite innocent. I don’t remember much of what Heidi said to me, but I remember it being mostly screeching insults which I didn’t have the desire to listen to. She wouldn’t listen and just kept on shouting the same crap so I hung up, switched off my phone, and we came to bed.


We got up late and Jenny had to be at some family thing or other in the afternoon. I switched my phone back on (remembering the shit from the night before) and waited for the inevitable Terry messages to arrive.

“We broke up”

Oh dear, here we go again. . .

Also two other messages from Louise which brightened up my morning greatly:

“Tell that silly BITCH to watch her back. i know were she lives and works. just said hello to you guyes. get over it its been2Years! sad lives!”


“Hope you all rot in hell its only what you dererve. sad lives and nothing to show for it. just wanted to say hello. wont bother again”

I wish you hadn’t bothered in the first place.

I didn’t reply, although I thought about it. Sad lives? Coming from the shitty hair dresser who was out with her friend and her friend’s boyfriend getting knocked out in a night-club for talking to someone she shouldn’t have bothered with. Sad lives? Look at who the fuck is talking. I thought about replying “who is this?” as I don’t have her number, but it was pretty obvious who it was. I thought about replying “fuck off and get over it” but opted for the not giving enough of a shit to reply approach. Stupid people and their stupid messages. I’m above that kind of childish behaviour. Ok, fair enough, Heidi shouldn’t have punched her, but taking it out on me is hardly going to improve matters. Threatening Heidi is not going to score any points either. The silly sad little shit.

So I called Terry just after midday to find out what had gone on and to try and explain a little of what had happened. Heidi has a habit of twisting events to suit her needs and what she says is not always 100% truth. I explained about what had been said by Jenny which caused it all to go off in the first place and that she didn’t say that Lisa had grabbed his arse, more she had prodded him to attract his attention. It was so innocent that Terry doesn’t even remember it. Hell, the number of times my backside was grabbed by dirty horny girls that night. Jeez. It simply wasn’t a big enough deal to make such a fuss. Nothing in it, get over it.

So Terry and Heidi worked things out. Jenny went on her merry way to the family thing. I played more Rome: Total War (it’s like an addiction, I swear). Then Jenny came back over and I cooked dinner before settling down to watch a movie before bed.


Our final day off so we resolved to make the most of it. We went out for lunch to The George in Piercebridge and sat by the river with a couple of drinks. Beautiful day and I was spending it with the girl of my dreams. It was one of those perfect afternoons. The sun was beating down; we had good food, drinks, conversation. It was too good to have it end there so we shot back into town, dropped off the car and for the bus into the town centre and parked ourselves outside a pub, in the sun, and decided that getting pissed was the best idea since someone decided that sliced bread would be a fun thing. Terry and Heidi (all fixed and sorted) dropped by a bit later on and we decided to go over to another pub where they have a nice beer garden. We walk in and, well, you couldn’t make it up, Louise was there. First you don’t see someone for a year then they turn up everywhere. I had to laugh when I thought back to the “Tell that silly BITCH to watch her back. i know were she lives and works” message. You don’t need to know where she lives or where she works. You have ample opportunity right now to make good on your threats. Go on, do it, I double dare ya.

She left. All mouth and not balls. Ha!

The four of us had a good chuckle at that, Jenny and I whooped their arses at pool, then we headed over to another pub, then another, getting drunker and drunker as the night went on. Eventually around ten o clock we decided enough was enough and called a halt to the festivities. We all went home to our beds and I know I, for one, slept like a baby. Sated, satisfied, happy.

Getting up for work this morning was a real drag though. . .


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