At Least it is Something

My day of house stuff or computer games swayed in favour of world domination with the armies of Carthage, but I don’t feel too bad as I have just stripped off the god awful yellow shit all over the upstairs hallway. I didn’t really mean to, it just happened.

I was on my way to the bedroom and there is a hole in the wall to the left side of the door that I made with my fist. I got angry one day with the ex and punched the wall rather than her face. Seemed like a good idea at the time but now I am wishing I had chosen the latter option. More on that later.

So I notice this hole and pick at the paper surrounding it. Before I know it I have ripped off half a sheet of old wallpaper so I ran down stairs, grabbed the scraper, and blitzed it whilst listening to tenacious d. it came off pretty easily, I expect because it had been painted over and left reasonably neat lining paper on the wall. That’ll have to come off too. I learned when papering the stairs that you cannot successfully paper on top of old lining paper. The whole thing comes away.

So why choose the latter option? Well I wouldn’t really. I have never struck a woman and never would. But the ex is treading on dangerous ground. This “loose cannon” could explode at any time and it would be detrimental to the both of us. I can be a mean bastard on occasion, very mean, sadistic even. I blame my father for that facet of my personality. So anyway, she’s trying to fuck with me in as many ways as she can and so far I have been patient, tolerant, understanding. It can’t be easy being dumped and booted out of your home and she had to suffer that. It is a situation which is never easy for either involved person, but it is harder on the booted rather than the booter.

I’m not going to link to the shit in question because nobody is currently reading this. It’s not listed in my blogger profile so the chances of someone I know stumbling upon it are slim to none, but she posted on her blog something along the lines of “I wish he would just get over me”.

She has said this to several people who we both work with too. News always gets back to me about what she has been saying and this “Alan needs to get over me” crap is becoming a common trend and starting to tire me. I went over to her blog today for a snoop and found a comment aimed at me:

“If you’re so over me and so happy and stable in you’re relationship, why do you even read my blog, let alone post in it??!”

That pissed me off. It’s been three months now and I’m still hearing/reading the same tired old crap. So I replied:

“Because I have this sick and twisted interest in seeing just how god awful your pitiful life is. I like to read about how you are fat, ugly, bloated, pathetic, hating yourself, hating your flat, scared of people, having to work a second job, struggling to make ends meet, boring the shit out of people with the inane bullshit that is YOUR LIFE. You have quite a following. I had the entire bottom end of the building in hysterics when I showed them your posts about having an indoor garden. Just how sad are you? “I’m going to buy some supplies for my indoor garden” ha ha ha. You are pathetic and this bullshit about me being “not over you” is fucking lame. I have been seeing someone now since three days after we split up. You running around telling people that I am not over you is causing them to doubt your mental state. But then we doubted that all along anyway, didn’t we hunny?

Still, keep it up. Keep telling yourself that I’m still interested in you if it makes you feel better about being sad and pathetic. Keep telling yourself that there is hope for me and you. Sometimes I despise the ground you walk on and sometimes I pity you.

Your crimes, in brief:

First you tell Andy about me and jenny when there was nothing to say. Who was that designed to hurt? Me? Jenny? Or Andy? Who do you think would be hurt by you making snide comments to him about his ex? Me or him? You don’t fucking think before you open your mouth. It is Andy (who thankfully told you he didn’t give a shit) who would have been affected, not me. How do you keep friends when you try so hard to hurt them?

Next you tell Heidi that I “hate her” and “never liked her” causing her to bitch to terry who bitches at me. Don’t worry, we fixed it, your childlike game did not work. We get on great still, THE FOUR OF US. Your campaign to try and cause shit in my life has failed.

next you sit in the smoke room telling people that I work with about your sad fuck life and trying to eke whatever joy you can out of your pathetic situation for an unwilling audience because you know it will get back to me. “I’ve been on dates” “I’m really happy!” I don’t care.

I dumped YOU. I decided I didn’t love you and then asked YOU to leave MY house. Let’s not confuse the sequence of events. Me dumping you and you crying yourself to sleep after begging me to give things a try.

I moved on. I found someone else. Someone I love very much indeed. Someone who I am taking to Cuba in September and who will be moving in with me when we return. I am planning my future with someone else whilst you are telling Sarah Barr that I am not over you and left you for another woman. Yes, I hear most things you say, so feel free to keep on going.

You’re pathetic, Sarah, and my interest and feelings towards you stem from your post-break up behaviour and actions towards me and nothing more.

Now, don’t keep us in suspense. I cannot wait for the next thrilling instalment from your life. Go you!!”

Harsh? Perhaps. Fair? Most certainly. I am tired of the bullshit now. So very tired of it. She was just as infuriating when we were together which is why I dumped her. Some people are just too fucking stupid to associate “you’re dumped, fuck off” with “I am so over you”.

Enough of that. Back to war.


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