Some people become obsessed with silly things. Frolixo of somethingawful/superevil/Ford is one of those people. My forums, (link), have now been the subject of not one, but two, articles on somethingawful. First we were a ‘victim’ of weekend web. I use victim in the loosest possible sense as the article was a terrible disappointment and left me wanting for more. Seeing, or perhaps feeling my need over the gulf of cyberspace, Frolixo threw me another bone with the ‘Awful Link of the Day’ which is currently on the front page of somethingawful. This second ‘article’ (used, once more, loosely, almost as slack as Frolixo’s jaw) is below:
What can I say about the Devious Tyrant forums? That its posters embody the stereotype of the posturing Internet tough guy? That they have more low-res graphics of flaming skulls, demons, and flaming demon skulls than the average ICP fanclub site?
What he means to say about Devious Tyrant is that his pitiful attempts at getting one over us has failed miserably. Members from my forum signed up at the superevil forums and made a mockery of the members, the forums, the ideas, everything. In return, Frolixo and his little faggotty friends decided to send our forums to the uberness (*rollingmyeyes*) that is DocEvil of somethingawful to be featured on Weekend Web. I think the words used by our hero, Frolixo, were,
“You invaded our forums and now I’m going to get Doc Evil to write nasty words about you because I’m too much of a fucknut to fight my own battles and I know that you guys are too much for me to handle”
These guys were featured on the past Weekend Web, but I figured I would give them another go — since they really deserve it, and because it’s Thanksgiving and I don’t feel like finding another ALOD. Really, though, if anybody deserves to be made fun of, it’s these guys. They take the Internet so seriously that it’s almost too easy to bait them into a frothing egoistical rampage. It’s sad but also amusing, much like watching a puppy with downs chase its own tail for hours on end.
Frolixo is well aware that the Weekend Web article was simply fucking shit. There are no better words in the English language to use to describe the pitiful effort made by Doc Evil. FUCKING SHIT. We could have sat a chimp in front of a keyboard to bash keys and the effects would have been the same. We could have smeared ourselves in dog shit and rolled around on white sheets and the lack of a comprehensive argument would be just as obvious as it was with the Weekend Web article. Frolixo knows this, he knows that I laughed at the Weekend Web article. He knows I laughed at his childish attempts to get back at us. I laughed at how much of a fucking pussy he was to run to somethingawful in the first place. He reminds me of the simpleton bully from grade school who picks on all the little kids and then as soon as someone stands up to him runs to his big, even simpler, brother for protection. Pathetic little man.
I’m not going to give you all the backstory of why IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m picking on these guys, but let’s just say that they were the ones that found me and invaded my site for no real reason. It was a harmless invasion, and fairly amusing for a while, but after reading their forums I felt it was my obligation to share them with the rest of the Internet. To spread the joy, if you will. No need to thank me. Think of this as a holiday present from me to you, the Internet customer.
I’ll give you the backstory, because unlike dear, pretty man, Frolixo, I can be arsed to write something of substance. My retort to your ‘awful link’ may not get the same exposure, but it is better written and does not feature a self portrait as a place holder because I can’t think of anymore material. ‘Internet customer’, you should feel ripped off if all this fuck is prepared to give you is three minor paragraphs and a silly picture. Give yourself a round of applause, Frolixo, you just became the human manifestation of ebaums. Anyone can throw a silly picture into text to make it look like you actually made an effort.
You call yourself a writer? somethingawful actually pay for this shit? Jesus. I expected more.
But I digress. The backstory, in brief:
One DT forum member signed up at superevil to question the purpose of a single forum. Idiots got riled, feathers flew from chickens, decency and good manners were thrown to the wind, and Frolixo shat his pants. He ran, bleating, to somethingawful, and despite his ‘idontgiveashit’ attitude, posted this:
“yeah he invaded my forums . . . so I gave the forums to docevilÃ¢â‚¬â„¢
It is a forum, not the Sovereign Nation of Iraq. Nobody invaded anything, they simply registered on another generic internet forum and asked a fucking question. What is the harm in that? Is Frolixo one of those sad fucking dorks that attaches meaning to shit on the internet? It is ironic when he mentions in his petty article, “They take the Internet so seriously that it’s almost too easy to bait them into a frothing egoistical rampage.” then commits the faux pas of referring to ‘his’ forums as a physical place capable of being ‘invaded’. It is a bunch of files on a server, fucktard. He says we take things too seriously, but then has somethingawful feature us not once, but twice in a petty attempt at revenge. Is there any wonder that I am laughing at you now, Frolixo? We must have pissed you off so much for you to resort to such desperate measures to regain some of your lost e-dignity.
What is more spectacular than the mutterings of Frolixo the Fucktard is the psyche of the typical somethingawful member/reader/fanboy. Being incapable of individual thought, they follow Frolixo like sheep would a shepherd. Bleating about how ‘awful’ somethingawful is, and about how hard their collective core is. It will likely never fail to amuse me.
Thanks for the laughs, Dorks, you made today bearable.