I had a long chat with my Brother last night about a range of subjects. It’s weird, when I think about it, that we grew up just two years between us and now seem to be a life time away from each other. I guess being old and having our own lives to lead is a valid enough excuse. It is very easy for us, separated by distance, separated by employment circumstances, separated as adults, to forget each other, to put each other to the backs of our minds and focus not on each other but on more immediate concerns.
The recent death of our Gran has, I believe for both of us, given us a new perspective on life. As children you cannot help but feel immortal. Every holiday is a lifetime and each playtime an adventure. It is only when we get older that we can see our lives are moving too fast and are slipping away from us. Life slips through our fingers as does the sand of time. We cannot stem the flow, we have no choice but to go with it. It is only when we see the life path of one that we love come to an end that we realise that we all share the same final destination. When we see the end of the life of a loved one it does much to highlight our own mortality. It makes us realise that we do not have forever, that life is but a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things and that each second we have is invaluable, and irreplaceable.
Michael said to me last night that we do not spend enough time together, we don’t talk as much as we should. I tried to stutter a pathetic excuse and ended up feeling silly. He was right, we don’t, and I want us to make a commitment to see each other more. I should never be in a situation where I feel uncomfortable with my Brother, where I cannot think of something to say and feel awkward because of the ensuing silence. That is not the way Brothers should be. Not two who have been through so much together and been there for each other as much as we have.
So, I’m going to make an effort and it starts with next weekend. Hopefully we can both make the effort to see each other more in the future and our relationship can grow from there.