No, it isn’t Burger King. It will now be forever known as Burger Cunt.
I’m becoming a fat bastard. I’m a true child of convenience culture. I was in town getting my hair cut and it was both quicker and easier to utilize a fast food joint for nourishment rather than getting some real food. Since, quite embarrasingly, I went to McDonalds yesterday, I figured I should use the rival Burger King (I mean Burger Cuntt) today. Think of it as ‘spreading the love’.
First the heat was stifling. They had either forgotten to switch on the air conditioning or forgotten to install it in the first place. Either way, approaching that counter was like approaching an open log fire. It was hotter than hell in that place.
Second, to call it a ‘Fast Food’ place is misleading. There is no such thing as fast food in Burger Cunt. The staff are all fucking idiots and seem to have the collective I.Q. of a mouldy sausage. Is it company policy to emply fat retards, I wonder.
Third, yes those staff. There were two kids serving. One a fat fucking bitch who’d obviously had too much of the good Burger Cunt product inside her. A disgusting, fat, blubbery piece of shit. I guess they shaved pieces of her off to use to fry the fries. The burgers are flame grilled, the fires are cooked in bitch oil. Second was some young, acned punk. I don’t think he’d seen a bar of soap this century, and the very few words he uttered were in gutteral chav-speak.
Fourth, my order. I wanted an XL Bacon Double Cheese Burger meal (large) with fries and a Coke (no ice in the Coke – it gives me a headache). What did I get? A Whoppa, small fries and a small Coke with ice. Holy shit! How can someone make so many mistakes with such a simple order?
‘No, no, fucker. Not this burger, that burger. Which part of bacon and cheese escaped you?’
‘Did you forget I ordered and paid for a large meal? Not a measly, shitty regular bullshit meal, give me large, feed me!’
‘Ice? Please tell me that isn’t ice I can hear rattling around in the cup. It isn’t is it? Are you mental? Hello!!’
Fuck Burger Cunt. Don’t go there. I shall try to resist the temptation of their tasty beef in order to both reduce my cholesterol in take and avoid the pain of trying to communicate effectively with retards. It isn’t easy being me. Human stupidity fucks me off.