Avoid this ‘Restaurant’ (I use that word in the loosest possible sense) at all costs. It isn’t a restaurant it’s a fucking fast food joint.
Sarah and I went for a meal last night, and Joe’s has a bit of a reputation as a good eatery. What a fucking dump. Never go to Joe Rigatoni’s:
1) I called them on Wednesday and asked to book a table. ‘You don’t need to book for two’ was the reply. OK then, so tell me why when I got there we had to wait for half an hour to be seated? If you let me book, you fucking twats, we would have been seated straight away rather than hanging around a fucking crowded bar area waiting for a table.
2) Cramped. No fucking chance of a quiet romantic meal. we were seated next to a table of nine screeching whores who seemed to be in competition with each other to see who could make the most noise and who could hit the highest note. If I wanted that sort of noise I would have gone to a discothÃƒÂ¨que, fuckers. The noise was, at times, unbearable. I couldn’t hear myself think let alone what Sarah was saying.
3) Speed. This was a fast food joint. It must have been. Rushed to a table (finally) and hurried through our meal of uninspiring Italian cuisine. The Salad I had was mush. It must have been days old. Sarah’s prawns had their damn shells attached still. When they fetched us over a bottle of wine (cheap plonk which I was charged Ã‚Â£9.95 for) it was dumped in the middle of a table with two glasses. ‘Hey fucker, you’re supposed to pour the fucking wine. Not just leave it on the fucking table.’
4) Cost. It was overpriced bullshit. My steak was fatty. We were paying for the lame decor and ignorant staff.
5) Staff. Ignorant bunch of motherfuckers. I can’t blame them as this was a blanket attitude. You never get so many cunts in one place so we can only assume they are told to act like ignorant sons of bitches by the management.
This is one time I refused to leave a tip for the staff. The meal cost exactly Ã‚Â£40 and exactly Ã‚Â£40 is what they got. I do tip, if I feel it is deserved. Fortunately we don’t have this ‘tip culture’ in the UK. Waiters are paid a decent wage and I don’t think they rely on tips to supplement it. If, however, they do, tough fucking shit. Go and find work at a decent eatery. You should be embarrassed to work in such a fucking dump.
I’ll never go to Joe’s again.